I think I won the penis lottery.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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