Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
the day after is always just damage control
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize