Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
