you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
