my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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