So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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