Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
