Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
