Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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