I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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