More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
