Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
