Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
