I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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