I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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