oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
