i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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