oh god the rape fog is back!
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
