Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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