This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
