Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
