im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We need to rekindle our bromance
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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