walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
