I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
