Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
