I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
