so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
