Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
