i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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