Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
