ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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