If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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