Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
