apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
