I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
