Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
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