It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My ATM looks so different sober.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
