i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
