O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
