Small penises have feelings too.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize