I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
