sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
