my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
