Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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