I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
