Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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