She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
