DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm passing your future prison.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
