Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
