I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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