I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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