I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you would pick up someone in the library
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
