We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
