so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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