I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
