He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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