Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
