Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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