Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
