Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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