I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
