I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
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