It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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