jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
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